Tim: We can’t go, we’re here, we gotta pick something, and what’s that saying? Doesn’t the dress find you? Becky: Can we please just go? This was a dumb idea. Tim: I’m gonna tell you something, alright? And you can’t tell it to anyone else. My mother never took me shopping for a pageant gown and because of that I never placed at Miss Texas. That’s why I...
Those of the intervening 12 songs in which he achieves orgasm substantially...– Robert Christgau: Good Morning Little School Girl: R. Kelly
Robert Christgau: CG: taylor swift →
In addition to being somewhat crazy—a shrink once diagnosed me with borderline...– i keep a .txt file with sentences that would make good novel openings
Stefon K.'s Reviews | Manhattan | Yelp →
He told me that all the good simple people in his novels, Little Nell, even the...– An apocryphal story about Dostoevsky meeting Dickens
There is a way to get love letters from your possible girlfriend. Of course, you...
Fodor: My argument for p is based on three premises: q r and p
1. BEHOLD THE MORTIFIED MICHIGAN PUNTER (Via @bubbaprog at Mocksession) PUNTCON THREAT LEVEL PROTOCOLS PUNTCON-5 go ahead an’ punt the ball! looks like you’re all ready, freddy! you’re gonna give yer team slam-bang field position! gee whiz! don’t that make you feel super? if y’get nervous, just tell yerself: “it’s fourth down, no reason to...
Mick Jagger should fold up his penis and go home.
9:05:26 p.m.: Standing on windowsill, telling secretary I’ll jump if she leaves me now. She says I don’t have the guts and the window doesn’t even op 9:05:59 p.m.: Awning. 9:06:27 p.m.: Nother awning. 9:06:43 p.m.: Yellow Cab™ roof. 9:11:23 p.m.: Whatta town.